Lesson #2

I don't need the approval of others for me to be OK.

Let's take a look at Facebook for a minute. It's a great way to reconnect. It is. BUT for me, it was also a way to seek and gain instant approval from others. Funny status updates, cute pictures...you know the drill. Until the moment others began commenting on one of those items or if no one commented, I would sit and hold my breath just waiting for the approval. There were times I would literally delete something because no one commented within 5 minutes. I was terrified of "disapproval" and that's what my poor little mind would perceived no comments as.

Sad. I know, but it's the truth.

I don't NEED any one's approval in order for me to be OK. That's a hard one for me. My emotional well being should be solely based on God's GRACE.

I needed to step away from Facebook for that reason. I was too caught up in what other's thought of me. And guess what, I, like all of us, censor what goes on there. The stupid thoughts and eyes-close-snotty-nosed pictured don't go on there. But my husband, children and my God, love all of me. No way to censor my life around them and they still love me.

That's enough.

Life Lesson #1

I have gone through some things over the past 6 months. Life changing things. I won't go into details, because putting my 2 readers to sleep in the middle of a posting would be bad. And sad. So, I'll stick to the good stuff. The lessons learned. Some of this may seem like a no brainer to most of you, but hopefully, someone can be as blessed as I have through the lessons without having to go through the pain. (unless reading this is painful for you. If so...sorry! I'm not a writer.)

Onto Lesson One.

I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Psalms 149:13

I think I learned that in Awanas when I was 9. I could recite it, but have I ever believed that? NO. And guess which part of the verse I never even learned?

I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.

I am God's work and His works are wonderful.

I could go on and on about all the things about myself that I don't particularly care for but in my path to self-discovery I realized in feeling these things...and I'm not just talking about in a small fleeing moment while passing the mirror...I was basically BELIEVING that God messed up with me. or that I somehow managed to mess up something God made.

So, what am I doing about it? Some of these things I didn't care for, like being fearful, bitter, anxious and "lazy", aren't just who I am. They're not. I had to learn that. They were side effects my sin. Once I realized my sin and handed it over to the one who made me, I felt a literal weight lifted. Just like that.

Some of those others things...the acne, the exhaustion, the 10 pounds I gained last year from not eating properly...those were also results of my sin. Stress, anxiety, poor health habits caused those features. I may be prone to those things, but in my case, these things can be avoided. With my new diet plan, I am feeling better than ever. And sleep! It's a super thing. I feel sooooo much better. Beautiful even. Maybe not by Hollywood's standards, but by the Lord's. Because I praise Him. My maker. I am fearfully and wonderfully made by Him. My perfect maker. His works are wonderful. That includes me!!! I believe that. Do you?

Looky what we found!!!!!

Ryan has been going through the crazy amount of computer files we have saved all over the place and we came across this list of possible names for Lillian. Lillian was nameless for the first 27 hours of her life. Ryan and I worked on our own list and then narrowed them down. This is RYAN'S list:) Ryana?????????? Seriously?!?!?!?! Reponza? She would have loved that:)

Allison

Charlotte

Clara

December

Elizabeth

Ellen

Emily

Jenna

Jillian

Lillian

Noel

Reponza

Ryana

Sarah

Sierra

Virginia

Wordless Wednesday

I have a lot to say....later:)

I do. I really do have a lot to say. Some important stuff and some not so important stuff. But my life has done a 180 and I'm excited about it. It's not all pretty. There was some yuck thrown in there. I'm having a hard time even starting this post. I started trying in December. I failed. That's what you get when you have an anxiety ridden mom with too much to say.

So, to get back in the swing of things, here's some pictures so you know we do in fact still live on planet earth and didn't vanish into outer space like it may have appeared!

 family dance

 Lillian's "nose ring"

 too cool for school

 Just a normal day out and about...

 snaggle tooth!

 feather extensions!

 Hannah's feather is blue and super cute.

 Cruisin with dad.

 believe it or not, they do have their own beds.

oy. 

A glimpse into the mind of Lillian...

Email from my dad regarding Lillian:

"talked the whole way home...never more than 10 seconds quiet! :-)


Her birthday party is going to be a Barbie-Hannah Montana-Little Mermaid party and only girls. You can come, but her daddy can't. Peggy can come. Hannah can come. Maw Maw can come, but Paw Paw can't. no boys....but Tommy can come if his mommy comes. And I can come because I'm her grandparent.

Her friends are Katie, Kate, & Georgia. She doesn't know any boys names because they aren't her friends.

But she must have known boy's names cuz she told me the name of the boy that hit Katie in the face with a ball. Her and Katie & Kate & Georgia told Miss ? whatever she said.

Hannah has a new bicycle but she can't ride it cuz it's not the right size. She has a new scooter that she can ride fast.

She hopes we have a puddle in our driveway and wishes she had a driveway like ours.

Next year she wants to jump in my pool and go under water with her goggles and not her floaties.

She wants to go to Maw Maw's tomorrow and play with her toys....then proceeds to name every toy in the house.

Then I heard about her old room is now the guest room and the old guest room is the movie room, but there is a movie room downstairs...then we named every movie on that tv and then how the remote control was broke, but daddy made mommy's phone and his knee-pad be a remote and you click ok, but she doesn't know how to read the black buttons.

She can't read yet because she's a little girl, but she can read music books.



etc. etc."

Guess who started preschool!!!!

Yep. My 13 year old, 3 year old.