Wordless Wednesday

Life Lesson #3

I am a good mom.

But, but, but....
I don't play with them every waking second.
I don't cut their fingernails after every bath.
As a matter of fact, I don't even GIVE them a bath every night.
I never make their beds.
I just let them eat cheetos.
I get annoyed with them.
I don't always want to listen to their stories.
I would rather be by myself most of the time.
I don't enjoy carting them with me to the store.
I am too tired at the end of the day to actually read every word of a book.
We don't do arts and crafts.
We don't bake cookies together for every single occasion.

I analyzed every negative, tiring thought I had over it. I went to mom groups, Bible studies, talked to many, many friends and learned that I'm not alone. We all feel this way sometimes.

I lived in constant fear that I wasn't a normal mom since I don't make caterpillar cupcakes with them when we see a butterfly, or buy them a monogrammed smocked dress for Easter, or have professional pictures taken at every milestone, or give manicures to them, or read and reenact Cinderella, the original version, or send them off to school with perfectly sculptured and perfectly matching hair bowed hair-dos.

I'm not going to list all the things I do that are great and loving. Just be proud that I have a list:)

 God didn't make a mistake when He let me borrow them for a little while. He doesn't make mistakes.

My kids are ok. They didn't get the short end of the stick when God chose me as their mom.  I'm ok. I'm blessed. And, maybe, JUST MAYBE, so are they.

 see? We go to 3d movies with matching stuffed characters. Well, we did that one time:)

 We even had vest day. Once.

But we ALWAYS get to be silly with the world's most super cool dad! That counts. Right???

Oui, Oui

In February,  I had the chance to fly over to Paris to join up with Ryan who was there on business. I did the hop-on-hop-off open-top bus tour on the first day on my own. We spent Saturday in Normandy and did the bus tour again together on Sunday (it takes you to all of the places you could possibly want to go to). Here's some of my favorites pics from the trip! Oh and no, I never got used to the time change and yes, Parisians are rude.

Lesson #2

I don't need the approval of others for me to be OK.

Let's take a look at Facebook for a minute. It's a great way to reconnect. It is. BUT for me, it was also a way to seek and gain instant approval from others. Funny status updates, cute pictures...you know the drill. Until the moment others began commenting on one of those items or if no one commented, I would sit and hold my breath just waiting for the approval. There were times I would literally delete something because no one commented within 5 minutes. I was terrified of "disapproval" and that's what my poor little mind would perceived no comments as.

Sad. I know, but it's the truth.

I don't NEED any one's approval in order for me to be OK. That's a hard one for me. My emotional well being should be solely based on God's GRACE.

I needed to step away from Facebook for that reason. I was too caught up in what other's thought of me. And guess what, I, like all of us, censor what goes on there. The stupid thoughts and eyes-close-snotty-nosed pictured don't go on there. But my husband, children and my God, love all of me. No way to censor my life around them and they still love me.

That's enough.

Life Lesson #1

I have gone through some things over the past 6 months. Life changing things. I won't go into details, because putting my 2 readers to sleep in the middle of a posting would be bad. And sad. So, I'll stick to the good stuff. The lessons learned. Some of this may seem like a no brainer to most of you, but hopefully, someone can be as blessed as I have through the lessons without having to go through the pain. (unless reading this is painful for you. If so...sorry! I'm not a writer.)

Onto Lesson One.

I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Psalms 149:13

I think I learned that in Awanas when I was 9. I could recite it, but have I ever believed that? NO. And guess which part of the verse I never even learned?

I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.

I am God's work and His works are wonderful.

I could go on and on about all the things about myself that I don't particularly care for but in my path to self-discovery I realized in feeling these things...and I'm not just talking about in a small fleeing moment while passing the mirror...I was basically BELIEVING that God messed up with me. or that I somehow managed to mess up something God made.

So, what am I doing about it? Some of these things I didn't care for, like being fearful, bitter, anxious and "lazy", aren't just who I am. They're not. I had to learn that. They were side effects my sin. Once I realized my sin and handed it over to the one who made me, I felt a literal weight lifted. Just like that.

Some of those others things...the acne, the exhaustion, the 10 pounds I gained last year from not eating properly...those were also results of my sin. Stress, anxiety, poor health habits caused those features. I may be prone to those things, but in my case, these things can be avoided. With my new diet plan, I am feeling better than ever. And sleep! It's a super thing. I feel sooooo much better. Beautiful even. Maybe not by Hollywood's standards, but by the Lord's. Because I praise Him. My maker. I am fearfully and wonderfully made by Him. My perfect maker. His works are wonderful. That includes me!!! I believe that. Do you?

Looky what we found!!!!!

Ryan has been going through the crazy amount of computer files we have saved all over the place and we came across this list of possible names for Lillian. Lillian was nameless for the first 27 hours of her life. Ryan and I worked on our own list and then narrowed them down. This is RYAN'S list:) Ryana?????????? Seriously?!?!?!?! Reponza? She would have loved that:)

Allison

Charlotte

Clara

December

Elizabeth

Ellen

Emily

Jenna

Jillian

Lillian

Noel

Reponza

Ryana

Sarah

Sierra

Virginia